Push....

"PUSH YOURSELF"

One of the things I often find myself thinking while watching Bailee, is "If she would just want to do it, she could."

How do you teach someone, especially a child, to have desire? 

What is desire? It's a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. 

What is ambition??? A strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work. 

Can this even be taught? Where does this reside in ourselves and how do we find it?

Something completely unexpected happened to me when I started Crossfit...I am learning how to push myself. Its one of my biggest hopes for Bailee, but I am realizing I need to live with more desire too. Desire to push harder, do just a little more, try a little harder, even when its really hard or painful. This morning, at the end of the workout, the last set, I only had 12 Abmat sit ups to go. Doesn't sound bad, right? Well it wouldn't be bad if I actually had abs and hadn't done anything else yet. How hard could 12 sit ups be? I thought "Only 12...crank them out." Then I did 2 and was sitting up slower and slower each time. I paused again..."10 more....you can do this." In that moment I realized I was faced with a decision. What do I desire? To keep going and push through the pain? Or to be defeated? I could have stopped, but that wasn't a choice I would allow (neither would Coach Kelsey.) I was going slower and slower...and slower. Then I thought to myself "Why am I here? What am I trying to accomplish?" I want to get stronger...but the only way to get stronger is to do more and push through it when you think you can't. 

I kept going and finished the workout. Then it happened....I didn't die. My mind tells me how bad it hurts, how I can't breath, how I have asthma and a super fast heart rate, and that I may actually die from sit ups. But I didn't.

Somewhere in those moments I chose to desire more than the pain that I was experiencing. This has been a huge lesson for me. When it gets hard and painful and everything in myself is telling me to stop or face a painful death, I can't. I have to remember to keep pushing, that I can do 1 more, and 1 more. 

I can rest more after the workout, keep pushing, keep going.

So, no. I don't think you can teach someone to have ambition and desire for something greater. Coach Kelsey is very motivating, but only I can turn on that piece inside myself. I do believe Crossfit has put me in a situation that has exposed me to a moment where I need to find this place. Every time I am at the gym I have a choice to make. What am I willing to do, how hard will I push? I am pushing myself more than I ever would have, and learning that my limit is way bigger than I ever imagined. Here's to a new approach to having desire and ambition in my life.

Get out of that comfort zone and go for something bigger.