I have stopped counting the days I wake up and feel defeated before getting out of bed. There are so many nights I lay down and simply cannot turn my brain off and let go of the "what if's, how will it be's, how will we do it's, and how will I ever get through this's???".
BUT....today, I woke up, BEFORE THE ALARM, and felt good. Really good. I can honestly say we are at a place in our life where the light is shining through. We still have the everyday stress and long term stresses of having a child with a severe disability...yet, it feels good.
Our bank account didn't change last night, we didn't win the lotto, we still have a mortgage, we still don't have a handicapped van, Bailee still doesn't walk, and my back still hurts....yet, it all feels good.
I don't know how to explain it, except that it's our outlook and the place we are INSIDE ourselves. Nothing has changed outwardly in our life to suddenly make the stresses go "Poof! Gone!"...yet, it feels good.
When you are in the thick of it, its hard...but always find something, anything, no matter how small, to love and be happy about, and grow that point. Build on it. You don't have to know how everything is going to work out...you probably won't. I know we don't! But if you go into it with a positive mind and an open heart...things will work out for you. People will feel your love and joy and want to support that and share in that...and before you know it, things will start making more sense and working out...and you will feel GOOD.
